There is life outside your apartment...

Subject:	It's been a while
Time:	05:28 pm

Yes...it's been forever. I know this. And so much has happened in the last...10 months?!?!? wow. really? That's insane. But, yeah....It's been a while. I got behind on entries and i haven't been on LJ until...today actually. So sorry, condolences...on with the update.

Wow. I don't even know where to start. I think i'll post one of the photo blogs I had on myspace (I know...shun me if you must).

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So...yeah. These few months have been kinda busy...or it was just December. It seemed to go by really hectic and quickly, so I have a whole bunch of pictures that document what happened this month...or in the last 2 to 3 weeks or so...

So, yeah, I went to Snoball on the 9th of December. I guess it was okay. I forgot my ornament...that had Matt and mine's names on it, and it was sad, but oh well. It was good times all around...and I got some double chin action going on...I wonder if there's an exercise to tone your chin...anyway...onward...

I drew this weird picture for Hanukkah. Don't ask me why...I just saw Hanukkah and was like 'D00d! I should totally draw something!'...so I did...I still need to draw something for Christmas...funnily enough I was stumped on Christmas, but not on Hanukkah....

Vicki, Jordynn and I all went to downtown Gresham while Vicki had the time, and just walked around and ended up in Treehouse Toys (where I applied for a job and need to go and check back in to see if they can interview me soonish). I ended up climbing the treehouse and posing...

...as well as sliding down the slide, and getting major static electricity. So bad, that Jordynn dropped my camera and now there's a dent on it, but it's not broken, so yay!

I watched the Living Nativity...which was a story about how the sheep and animals awaited the birth of Jesus. It was cute, and my favorite part was when one of the little girls forgot the line to 'Away in a Manger' and ended up singing 'Lay down his sweet....wait'. Good times galore.

Also, took this odd picture of Chris in his costume...while he was playing guitar. Sunday school was a weird day that Sunday.

And also took a picture of Katie and Carli....along with a picture of...

THE CUTEST WEINER DOG IN THE WORLD! OMFG!

Then, I went to the mall with Matt, Marla and Tom and we all hung out downtown and hit many different stores. It was good times galore, and yeah....the MAX was awesome...as some guy talked to us about whether the MAX goes to the zoo...or something.

We also went to the Saturday Market in Downtown Portland...on a Tuesday, which was odd, but whatever. It was still cool as we saw some of the prettiest things that people had made.

...also, tried to take a creative picture while waiting for the MAX to proceed onto Lloyd Center.

Also, Matt and Tom realized that a bag full of fake snow somehow felt like a boob, and tried to make Marla and I try it and see. Marla went first.

Then, one day, I passed this cute car with deer antlers and a red nose. I had to take a picture. :D It was awesomeness x 1000000000

...and tonight, I found my Christmas Tree for $4.49, and now it sits in my room all decorated and pretty. THE END.

Well...there was other stuff, like meeting Nate for the first time, Kelina and Nate hanging out together last Saturday at my house, getting Josh Groban CD's and an iPod Nano for Christmas, and running into Jason and Phil and them playing a track of a woman having an orgasm on a sound effects cd they got (why would you need that sound effect?) BUT, yeah...I didn't have pictures of that...so I threw it in at the last minute.

But, since it's the end of Holiday Season (kind of) as well as the year...I have to conclude that this year was a pretty good year. I got a man I love very much, friends who stick by me, I got into the college of my choice and things aren't going too bad at school right now.

I have high hopes for the new year. Let's hope next year goes just as well as this year! :D

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So yeah...the new year hasn't been too bad. I mean, there have been some times when it's been kind of crappy (just school drama...as well as sadder things.), but Matthew and I are still together (almost a technical year! OMG! :D) and we're still really happy together.

I've gotten accepted to my first choice college, scholarships, financial aid and almost free college! :D It's pretty awesome. But, yeah. It's going okay academically right now.

Socially, it could be better....there are people who think they rule the drama department and that kind of pisses me off, but I've been praying and hopefully it'll get better and sides...I'm out of there in like two months, and all that will only be a bad memory.

But, one of the saddest things that's happened is the death of one of the sweetest ladies that I've ever known. Matt's grandmother, Grandma Mary, passed away. I was so incredibly upset...I had just gotten to see her and gotten to know her, and she was gone so soon.

Here's an email that I sent to my friend about the funeral.

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Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner...it just was a really long day yesterday and I was totally exhausted after the funeral.

But, It was a wonderful service. It truly celebrated Grandma Mary's life, and I sat with Matt's family which was nice as I felt so included.

I walked in and hugged the whole family, and his mother clung onto me for a while and cried and told me how good I was to Grandma Mary, and how grateful she was. But, I prayed with the family and got escorted up the aisle, but not after Matt's Aunt Tracy hit me up for a cough drop.

The whole time I was sitting there I just stared at the coffin and found it so hard to believe that Mary, who was once alive and had so much spunk in here, was lying still in a wooden box. Never to open her eyes again.

I tried so hard not to cry throughout the service, that when it came turn to say something up her, I got up, held the microphone and started blubbering in front of EVERYONE. I was so embarrassed, but I couldn't seem to stop. I managed to choke out some words and ended with saying that I was so glad that I got to know Mary and afterwards Matt's mom told me that she was glad that I knew Mary too.

After the Benediction, the pallbearers came forward (which was basically all the boys in the Matt's family) and Matt's mom came next to me and held my hand and when the coffin had passed us she whispered 'NOW, we go', and we walked silently down the aisle after the coffin. It seemed like forever. We ended up standing behind the coffin and just waiting for the guys to figure out how to get it down. So, it was Matt's mom, Matt's Aunt Linda, Aunt Tracy and me waiting. Aunt Linda was crying like crazy and me and Tracy just hugged as I think we needed a little support.

So, we walked out after the guys got the coffin unstuck from the trolley, and all the women stopped at the end of the handicap access ramp, and we all paused and watched as they put Mary into the car. It was actually kind of like a movie. It was windy, and raining lightly and the wind was blowing out hair. It was kind of like a very dramatic movie.

But, we soon got gestured over to the hearse and we stood there watching as Matt's mom and dad said their last goodbye. It was really sad. It pretty much was like a movie. And after they walked back to our group, we watched as they secured Mary and closed the door. Then, it's like we didn't know what to do. We stood there for a while and then figured we might as well head back to the church and we ended up downstairs in the basement of the church where everyone was.

Matt's dad said I did a good job, but I couldn't even reply as I had felt so badly that I had screwed up my thanksgiving. But, I guess that's what happens sometimes.

I dunno, I guess the whole time, I was thinking how lucky Matt was to have a grandmother who loved him so much, and told him so every time he visited her. I kind of wish I had had that...but, I guess there are some things that we just can't change.

But, knowing Mary is a good thing that I would never change.
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Mary was a woman who lived faithfully. She never cursed God, until her last day. And she was dying of cancer. I think after her funeral, she changed me. Even though it wasn't directly by her, it was how she lived her life. She had faith. Throughout her whole life, she remained faithful and I want to do that. I do not want to become faithful on my death bed, I want to start now. I'm trying and it's hard to begin, but it gets easier.

When you encounter people who are rude and bitter towards you, you can not stoop to their level. You have to turn the other cheek, and just pray that one day they will see the error of their ways. I need a lot of help with this. And I have faith that I can do it.

So I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Wish me luck!

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